A Fresh Start
by Giantpanda
Summary: Sayid is trying to find out what is wrong with Shannon. When she finally reveals her secret, will it be one that Sayid wanted to hear? Companion to the Moving In and Moving Forward. Looks as if I’m starting up my own universe.


TITLE: A Fresh Start  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: Sayid is trying to find out what is wrong with Shannon. When she finally reveals her secret, will it be one that Sayid wanted to hear? Companion to the Moving In and Moving Forward. Looks as if I'm starting up my own universe.  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Why was Sayid holding Aaron? He did not really mind, it was just that Shannon had abruptly stopped folding laundry at their shelter in the caves, had a conversation with Sawyer that clearly upset her, then thrust the baby into Sayid's arms and run after Sawyer. What had Sawyer said to her? What were they arguing about now?

Aaron started wiggling in his arms, and Sayid tore his gaze away from Shannon to deal with the baby. His brow creased as he tried not to lose his grip on the child. He knew Claire would have his head if he dropped her child. Sayid never had much experience with babies until Aaron, and he had to admit that he enjoyed more when Aaron had been only a few months old and did not squirm so much. Finally Aaron slipped his hand into Sayid's hair, and seemed content to play with the curls. Sayid rolled his eyes, grimacing a little at the grip Aaron had on his hair, but was glad the baby finally stopped moving. He looked back at Shannon just in time to see her slap Sawyer across the face. He wished he understood what was going through her mind. She had been acting strangely the past few weeks, and he had no idea why.

Sayid did not say a word as Shannon stalked away from Sawyer. She did not say a word to Sayid when she brushed past him, and Sayid knew better than to ask what had happened. He just watched as she put on her sweater and wrapped it tightly around her stomach. He knew that was the sweater she wore when she was hurting or upset. Sayid wanted to go find Sawyer and hurt him for hurting Shannon. But he knew she had been acting strangely the past few weeks, so maybe Sawyer was not even the cause. He wished that she would share with him whatever was going through her mind. Instead, she continued to fold their laundry. He watched as she stood there folding his shirt. Shannon was always beautiful, but when she was angry – at someone other than himself – she was even more attractive. Even now, simply folding their clothing she was beautiful. He had never known that something so simple could still look so sexy when she did it.

Aaron began to fuss again, and Sayid bounced him gently on his hip. He spoke softly in Arabic, telling Aaron a rhyme that Sayid's mother used to tell him, hoping that it would help calm the baby. Luckily it worked. Aaron stopped fussing, and looked at him curiously. Sayid knew he would have to remember this for the next time they watched Aaron. Aaron laid his head down on Sayid's shoulder. Sayid felt Shannon's eyes on him, and he turned to face her. She held a shirt, but made no move to fold it. Her eyes were filled with tears.

Sayid reached out and caressed her face. "What's the matter?" he asked, hoping that for once she would answer him.

She bit her lip. "Nothing."

He did not need to be an interrogator to know that she was lying to him. They had been together too long for lies to pass as truths anymore. But he was tired. She still did not trust him. He did not know what else he could do. He had told her many times that he loved her, tried desperately to erase her doubts. He wished he knew what happened in her past to make her so leery of trusting him. What happened to cause her to feel so worthless?

Sayid leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I am going to take Aaron for a walk."

"You're leaving me?" she asked her voice trembling.

"I will be back," he said softly, running his hand down her arm.

She pulled away. "Whatever," she said angrily, turning her back to him.

He bit back what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her to stop acting like a child, to stop playing whatever game this was. He wanted to tell her to stop trying to push him away. He loved her, and needed for her to believe that.

Instead he took a deep breath. "When you are ready to tell me what is bothering you, I will be at the beach with Aaron." He kissed the back of her head. "I can not fix this, Shannon, if I do not know what is wrong."

Sayid turned to walk away, Aaron still resting his head on his shoulder. His arm was growing tired from holding him. He hoped the baby would wake up when they got to the beach so he would no longer have to hold him like this.

"It's not fixable," she said softly, causing him to stop walking. "And it's not something I want fixed."

Sayid turned to face her. Finally, maybe she would share what was going on. However, he did not understand her response. Whatever was bothering her could not be fixed and she did not want it to be fixed, what could that mean?

"Perhaps it will help to talk about it," Sayid said.

Shannon twisted the end of her sweater, but would not look him in the eyes. She looked so lost and so vulnerable. Sayid wanted nothing more then to put Aaron down and pull Shannon close to him. Why did she not realize that when she hurt, he hurt as well?

"Do you like babysitting Aaron?" she asked.

He did not understand the question. Of course he enjoyed spending time with the baby. He preferred to be with Shannon, but watching Aaron with her allowed him to pretend that they were a family. Something he would never voice to Shannon. He did not know how she felt about children, and was not willing to place a strain on their relationship by mentioning them.

"Yes, I like watching him. I would not do so if I did not."

"Dirty diapers and all?"

"It is part of having a child," he said, confused as to where these questions were going.

Aaron lifted his head for Sayid's shoulder and started whimpering. Sayid tried bouncing him again and speaking in Arabic, but nothing helped. Shannon held out her hands, and Sayid passed the baby to her. Aaron quieted down almost immediately as she spoke softly to him. Sayid wished he could hear what she said, wanted to know what calmed the baby. Knowing Shannon it was not a typical lullaby.

For Sayid watching Shannon interact with Aaron always made him picture her holding their child. A little girl. With big brown eyes, and dark curly hair. Her skin would be light brown. She would have Shannon's nose, not his. And she would have her mother's smile. A smile that could light up her daddy's day. She would be just like Shannon. He could almost picture the battle of wills that would happen. He was grateful that they were on the island, because he would not have to deal with his daughter dating. Although, it was always possible that families would keep developing on the island. He frowned as he looked at Aaron. His daughter would not date Aaron. He was startled by the vividness of his fantasy. Of how he could see his little girl in his mind.

Shannon was watching him closely.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

He did not know if he should tell her. Would she think he was crazy for picturing what their daughter would look like? Would she be upset with him for thinking about a family when it was something they had never talked about? In the end, however, he knew he had to tell her the truth.

"I was picturing you holding our child."

Her eyes widened and she gripped Aaron tighter, causing him to cry out. Sayid closed his eyes; maybe this was a time when a lie would have been better.

"How long have you known?" she asked.

"Known what?"

"About the baby."

He knitted his brown, what was she talking about? Aaron started crying louder, and Shannon tired to soothe him without taking her eyes off Sayid.

He sighed. "I am afraid I have no idea what you are talking about, Shannon."

"But you said you were picturing me with our child."

"Yes." He hesitated. How much was he willing to reveal to her? "I always do when you hold him."

"Really?" she asked, a small smile on her lips. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was not sure how you would react."

He noticed that she seemed less tense now, even if she was holding a screaming child. At times like this he wished he were able to read her mind, because he still had no idea what was going on.

"I'm pregnant."

He was not what he had expected her to say, but now her behavior the past few weeks made perfect sense. She did not know how he would respond to her pregnancy, and was fearful that he would abandon her. For a long time he had wanted to start a family with her. One day they would get the communication part of their relationship down. Preferably, before the family came along.

He took a step closer to her. He wanted to pull her into his arms and celebrate the news, but of course they had to watch Aaron. He reached out and brushed his fingers gently against her stomach. A baby. Their baby. Maybe his fantasy would become their reality.

Before he could tell her how happy, how excited he was, Aaron started screaming even louder. Sayid never could understand how something so little could create so much noise. But he realized he would soon find out every day with his own child. And if she was anything like Shannon, would demand their constant attention.

"I think he's hungry," Shannon said, a slight blush on her face.

Sayid looked at Aaron and noticed that the baby nuzzled at Shannon's breast, trying to nurse. . He tried not to laugh at the look on Shannon's face.

"Take him."

Sayid took Aaron into his arms. "I'll go find Claire."

"Knock first. I think her and Sawyer are having sex." She readjusted her shirt. "And tell Sawyer to teach his son some manners. I can't believe a baby just got to second base."

He would have to get an explanation for her later about that. He did not understand what she was talking about. But for now his goal was to get Aaron back to Claire so he would stop crying. He walked quickly through the jungle, singing softly to the baby. In a few months he would be singing to his own child. He still could not believe that Shannon had just told him that he was going to be a father. He had dreamed of it, but never thought it would actually happen. He was a solider, a monster. Maybe there really was such a thing as getting a new life and a fresh start. Maybe he had needed this island to bring Shannon to him. Maybe she was who he had been searching his whole life.

He bounced Aaron up and down, hoping that he could get him quiet. Would he be able to get his own child quiet? What if he was unable to? What if he could not soothe her? Part of him said that right now only Claire would be able to comfort Aaron, but now there were doubts of his own abilities to be a father floating around in his mind.

Finally, Sayid came to Sawyer's tent, and was able to stop all the thoughts. Aaron let out a loud cry as Sayid remembered Shannon's words about what Sawyer and Claire were probably doing in there. His face grew hot as he knocked his hand against the plastic.

"Son of a bitch," Sawyer yelled, as Sayid heard movement inside the tent.

The tarp flew back, and Sawyer stepped out, zippering his pants, his eyes narrowed in anger.

"I am sorry to disturb you," Sayid said, his eyes focused on his shoes. "Aaron is hungry."

Claire stepped outside. "Thanks, Sayid."

He looked up and noticed that her shirt was on inside out. He looked back at his shoes. If this were ever necessary again, he would have Shannon bring Aaron back. Claire took the screaming baby from his arms, and cooed at him. Aaron quieted down almost immediately as Claire took him inside the tent.

Remembering what Shannon had told him, Sayid said, "Shannon said to teach your son some manners. He got to second base, I believe she said."

Sawyer started laughing, seemingly forgetting his anger at the interruption. "So the baby felt her up? Can't say I blame him."

Before comments like that would have pushed Sayid over the edge, but now he realized that Sawyer talked that way about anything female that moved. It no longer bothered him.

Sawyer cocked his head to the side. "Did she call Roo my son?"

"You are the only father he knows."

"Poor kid," Sawyer snorted.

Sawyer looked back at the tent. Sayid wondered what he was thinking. Sawyer had to be the last person Sayid would have expected to be father to Aaron, but since that day when Sawyer came to him asking him to move Aaron's cradle, it had made perfect sense. Sayid wondered if Sawyer's issues were similar to Shannon's, and he too felt he was worthless.

"You are a good father to him."

"First you tell Claire to trust me and now you're saying I'm a good father. Have you gotten into Charlie's stash?"

"I spoke the truth to Claire and to you."

"Thanks."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air. Sayid and Sawyer had a friendship because of their girlfriends, and got along pretty well, but compliments were not something that happened often. They had a unique friendship. Sayid figured not many people could say they were friends with the man who had almost killed him. But they had both become tolerant of each other during the months on the island, banding together to take over the leadership when necessary. It still surprised Sayid how much he and Sawyer were actually alike. They both had to keep their tempers in check, and when they were able to push aside their tempers, they were both pretty rational. Even more importantly was their fierce protection of their girlfriends.

"You're going to be a good dad too, Ali." Sawyer looked uncomfortably down at his shoes. Suddenly a twig was more interesting then this conversation. "Please, tell me Sticks told you, or I'm dead."

Even if they had become friends, Sayid still enjoyed, as Shannon would say, messing with him.

"Told me what?" Sayid asked.

Sawyer's eyes shot up, and for a moment Sayid was reminded of the look hidden in Sawyer's eyes when Sayid had tortured him.

Sayid was unable to keep the smile off his face for long. "She told me before I brought Aaron over."

Relief filled Sawyer's face. "Congratulations. You two deserve some happiness."

Sayid was not sure what he should say. Another compliment from Sawyer. It had to mean that something unusual was going to happen now.

"Jasmine'll be hot pregnant too."

Sayid sighed. That was much more like a comment Sawyer would make. He did not bother to argue with him. Sayid knew it was the truth. He could not wait to see Shannon's body change as their child grew inside of her. He wondered if she would still wear her bikini's as her stomach grew, or if she would be more modest. He could not help but hope that her choice of wardrobe would remain the same.

Claire stepped outside, holding a sleepy Aaron in her arms.

" 'Bout time you finished. Any longer and it would have turned into a chick flick out here," Sawyer said, snaking his arm around her waist.

"Sorry," Claire said. "I heard that Shannon told you. I tried to tell her that you'd be happy."

"I am very happy," Sayid said smiling.

Claire chewed on her lip, "Would you mind taking Aaron back with you?"

"Of course not, Shannon and I promised to watch him."

"Thanks," Claire said handing Sayid a sleeping Aaron.

Sawyer slapped him on the back. "Congrats again, dad. Go celebrate with your woman."

Claire and Sawyer went back inside their home. Sayid cringed as he heard them before he got the chance to walk away. He hoped he and Shannon were not as loud. He walked slowly back to the caves, careful not to disturb the sleeping baby in his arms.

Finally, he was back the shelter he shared with Shannon. The shelter he would have to enlarge so there would be room for their child. He would also need to build a cradle. He did not believe that Shannon would want Locke to build one for their child, and Sayid knew that he would be able to do it himself. He thought of waiting to see if they could use Aaron's since he would have grown out of it by then, but he had a feeling that Claire would soon be pregnant again.

"Finally," Shannon said, as Sayid sat down beside her. "I thought I'd have to send a search party out for you. What took so long?"

Sayid shrugged. "I suppose Aaron was very hungry," he said as he placed the sleepy child on the blanket beside them.

"At least he's asleep."

"Sawyer sends his congratulations," Sayid said. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Why did he know before I did?" He felt the slightest sting of jealousy that Sawyer knew about the baby before he did.

"Lucky guess." She glanced at Aaron. "Are you really happy about this?"

He motioned for her to come closer, and she scooted over so she could rest her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her waist and rested his hand against her stomach, gently caressing it. He kissed the top of her head. He wondered how long it would be until she showed that she was pregnant. He hoped it would be soon. Now, he could feel the slightest hint that she was pregnant.

"I can not think of the words to tell you how happy you have made me."

"Should have known you'd be happy. You're going to be a wonderful daddy."

"And you will be an excellent mother, Shannon." He felt her stiffen in his arms, and realized another reason she had not told him about the baby earlier. "Aaron loves spending time with you, and you have months to practice on him. You are one of the only people Claire trusts to watch over him."

"Thank you. Just keep saying that, maybe I'll believe you."

"When our daughter smiles at you for the first time, I will not need to tell you."

She turned to face him. "Our daughter?"

"Just like her mother."

She laughed. "Are you sure you'd be able to handle two of us?"

He kissed her gently. "I look forward to it."

"Would you be disappointed if it's a boy?"

"No."

"Just like his father."

He rolled his eyes, "Are you sure you would want two of us?"

"Yeah. He'd be perfect like you."

Sayid ignored the comment. He was far from perfect. Maybe one day he'd tell her all his sins, but not now.

"Maybe it will be twins then."

She pulled away from him and hit him on the shoulder. "That's not even funny."

He laughed at the look of horror on her face, which earned him another punch on the shoulder.

She sank back into his arms sighing. "There's one bad thing about having a child."

"What?" he asked, wondering what was bothering her.

"How are we going to have make-up sex if we have to take care of a baby? We can't even celebrate because we're watching Aaron."

"We will ask someone to watch her - or him."

He wondered why he kept referring to their child as girl, why he had pictured in his mind a little girl. He could think of no reason for his adamancy that it was going to be a girl.

"Doesn't help us now."

He kissed her. "We will have time later to celebrate alone."

She snorted. "Claire and Sawyer aren't coming out of that tent anytime soon."

He knew she was right. He glanced around the caves looking for someone, anyone. Finally, he saw someone he could trust.

"Hurley," Sayid called out, "Would you mind watching Aaron for a while?"

The End


End file.
